“Are you pregnant?”

I am a person who sometimes feels nauseous when I am too tired, when I haven’t slept well, when the weather is too hot, when I am suffering from a migraine or when I have my period.

Too much information you would say, but please bear with me for two more minutes because I believe I have something important to say.

I bet that if I were a man the above symptoms wouldn’t look so suspicious to you. But only because I am a young woman who recently got married, the people around me immediately jump to the conclusion that I should be pregnant.

That’s how I end up answering the question “Are you pregnant?” more often than you would think. And believe me it’s not only men asking.

I really don’t mind reassuring everyone that this is not the case. It’s the attitude of the person who asks the question what I would like to address with this article.

Because, unfortunately, I am not the only one.

I asked about ten of my girlfriends whether they also happen to get this question and I was shocked by the stories I heard.

Apparently the people you work with even count how often you go to the toilet to make the remark that pregnant women need to pee more often. Don’t you think this goes a little too far?

Some of my girlfriends are having troubles having children. Others cannot find the right partner. A third group doesn’t even want to have children.

Why would these women need to go into this painful discussion with people who are not even interested in the real answer?

Questions like “Are you pregnant?”, “When are you two getting married?”, “Isn’t it time for you to find a boyfriend?” might be sensitive depending on the person you have in front of you.

This is what we, women, are going through on a daily basis.

Both on the work floor and in our personal lives.

Therefore, I have the following message for all of you, men and women.

First of all, why do you even need to think about it? Don’t you have enough interesting things going on in your life to think about? Or is this something you have heard so often around you that the question unconsciously pops up in your mind?

Second of all, even if you would think about it why would ask the question? In case you are right, you will be informed anyways about our personal situation when the time comes. If I, for example, have just found out that I am pregnant, I will first need to deal with this news myself before I share it with you. Don’t you think?

So the next time a female colleague or friend of yours doesn’t feel at her best, please think twice before you ask the question: “Are you pregnant?” Or any other question that concerns her personal situation.

What you can do, instead, is at least offer some way of easing her pain, in case you are so interested to help.

 

P.S. No hard feelings to all of you who have asked me this question numerous times. I don’t hold grudges against you and yes we are still friends! 😉

 

 

Article photo by Ben White on Unsplash

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